When I was a kid, I didn’t want to grow up, just like everybody else. I wanted to stay where I was then, having no responsibilities and all the time in the world to play and have fun. As I grew up more, I found that my desire to stay young only persisted, and by the time I was in high school I was dreading the thought of turning 20. It just seemed so old, you know? Not to mention I had an intense fear of death back then, and aging meant I was getting closer to death. I remember clinging to my last few years of being in my late-tenths as if they were my last years. And in a way, it felt like it was, at least for me back then.
You see, I had it embedded in my mind that freedom was only to be had when one is still young. I sincerely thought that once you hit your mid-twenties, you’re just gonna be another boring adult with boring adult life and boring adult responsibilities. I was so eaten up and convinced by media – social media mostly – that life is only fun when you’re young. Those quotes about ‘having fun while you’re young’ and being ‘young and free’ I saw all the time on Tumblr only further convinced me more that my twenties would be the last years of true freedom I have before I eventually have to turn into yet another boring adult person.
And there lies my problem. I of course wanted to enjoy that lifestyle – the carefree lifestyle where it seems like every day is a party and everything is just enjoyable. But back then I had a severe tunnel vision, and though I didn’t see adulthood as a complete grey world (I do like the idea of being stable with a job and a house), I saw it as a little bit of a shackle to my wish to remain free as the wind, always free to adventure the world as I would like to. And I dreaded losing that freedom.
Come Kim Kardashian.
Actually no. The first Kardashian who caught my eyes wasn’t even a Kardashian – it was Kylie Jenner. She embodied what I wanted in a lifestyle, that is a free, jetsetting glamorous lifestyle. I loved her way of life, but the more I followed her life the more I realized how much she was inspired by Kim, and that was when I first got interested in her.
I followed her on Instagram and watched as she, too, lived a free and jetsetting lifestyle as her sister, despite the fact that she was almost twice as old as Kylie. She wore clothing that I would usually attribute as clothing for the younger folks, and she still rocked it.
I then became engulfed further into the world of Instagram beauty, and came across Huda Kattan. Huda is a beauty influencer under the handle @hudabeauty with millions of followers, and it was easy to see why. She had an impeccable sense of style, gorgeous makeup, and lived a seemingly carefree lifestyle. And one thing I noticed – she was also over 30.
That was when I started to really open my eyes. I think I feared mediocrity the most, to live a boring stable life and that I couldn’t live the way I wanted to be when I got to my 30s. But Kim Kardashian does it. Huda Kattan does it. They’re over 30, with families, but they’re still rocking life the way they want to. They lead carefree and glamorous lives, they still rock the Instaglam look, and they can still wear clothes that the old me would think only suited young adults.
They’re the living proof, to me, that age doesn’t restrict anything. Despite their age closing in on the big 40s, they still lead lives like they’re still in their 20s. I do realize they also have big stack of money backing that lifestyle up, but it still encourages me in the way that if they can do it, why can’t I? Money isn’t the limit to everything, so I know that if I put myself to it, I can do it as well. I can live my life without restraints, just like how these two women proved to me.